Why Friends + Family Do Not Support You…

Every now and again I see memes floating around, denoting how no one was with you shooting at the gym or how your friends will invest in all the name brands but not buy your products and  I have had people explicitly ask me to the address thinking I would be on the side of […]

The Abuse Strong Friends Endure

I recently re-read James Baldwin’s If Beale Street Could Talk. I sat on panel at SXSW with Barry Jenkins, Oscar award-winning director of Moonlight. In preparation, I picked up Beale Street because I realized I could not recount much of the book that I had read in a flurry as a middle schooler.  In 6th grade […]

Disrespecting My Time is a Problem and a Lesson

I hate when people waste my time in ways that could have been prevented. I especially hate when those people look like me, are people who I want to uplift and respect but instead I’m looking at my phone trying to figure out how to even process the bullsh*t. How often am I inclined to […]

Isolating Yourself is not Self-Care

Why do we believe that cutting ourselves off from the people who care about us, calling it something like “I’m putting my head down” “grinding” or hashtagging it, is how we become successful in a capitalist society? I am not implying that this is indicative of simply the Black community but it is symptomatic of […]

Single & Attractive Women Can Have Casual Sex Without Consenting to Rape

Casual Sex Is Not Consent to Rape

ArtParasite posted an article submitted anonymously entitled THE UGLY SIDE OF BEING A SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE AND AVAILABLE HETEROSEXUAL WOMAN, where a young woman details her encounters with men who have sexually mistreated her. Who have assaulted her right was a consenting partner in casual sex to force her to do things she did not want […]

To Celebrate the Regular Black Girl : Solange’s A Seat At The Table | Review

Solange’s new album is a wonderful tableaux of the simplicity, complexities, vulnerabilities and the intersections of Black women. An art piece, that sits not only in the hallway of good music but as we or they say is “sonically pleasing.” It enwraps you in an experience. A Seat At The Table is a story, were […]

Stop Thanking Your Haters

How many of us dream of our day of success as if it’s is accepting an award in front of an audience like at the Oscars or the Grammys. Where we envision ourselves walking up the stage as the crowd below claps in applause for us. We have our acceptance speech all written out, after […]

Working on Your Emotional Maturity, When Everyone Else is Emotionally Immature

Emotional maturity. I’ve spoken about this before on how emotional maturity will help you avoid fuckboys. Packaging advice through discussions on intimate relationships is always the easy entry way. But emotional maturity is more complex and nuanced than just how it relates to your dating life. Emotional maturity is taking the time to develop self […]

How to Grow Emotionally Mature & Avoid F*ckboys

We so often overlook our emotional self, because it is so easy to get caught up in the visual. Not just the visual of how cute you can dress, but the visual of others perceive us. Caught up with concerning ourselves more with the emotions of others, versus dealing with our own emotional state, from […]

In Dating: HE is not Dumb, He’s Just Lazy

This is a PSA, a friendly reminder, a save your soul and yourself message for my sisters. Men are not dumb, but they are lazy. This is not to say that no dumb, ignorant men exist. I mean, what is Chris Brown or Lil Bow Wow. However, this is to say that my #SmartBrownGirls, as […]

Tinder Tips to Keep the Dating Shenanigans Low

Whether it’s Tinder, Soul Swipe, or the centers of your waste my time shenanigans like BlackPeopleMeet and Plenty of Fish, here’s some advice to keep the ain’t shittedness from entering into your personal space. Be smart and stay safe sis! 1. Black men all take the same 6 types of pics. Seated on the end […]

The Fear of Success | #SmartBrownGirl

The fear of success is a peculiar feeling to try and articulate, though it is something that many of us deal with multiple times in our life journeys. Its been an ongoing thing for me, and a constant conversation of half sentences and mumbled words trying to place exactly what this insecurity is, what is […]

Why are Women So Petty & Competitive?

Being petty is now a thing of honor. Blame it on the rise of social media, more specifically Twitter where you have to pack a punch within 140 characters or less. There is no time to be concerned with tone, tact and other subjective things, you must say what you mean as precisely and concisely […]

Single Black Female, Relationships & Dealing with Emotions | #SmartBrownGirl

Relationships and my emotional self are part of me that I like to keep private. But I understand that in relating to me, other #SmartBrownGirls want to know how I deal with certain situations. Most of my pre-25 years old relationships were the inspiration for my book, Send It On, a collection of short stories […]

#SmartBrownGirl & Living the Life You Want

*Image from Escume Last month I had an opportunity to attend Oprah’s Life You Want Weekend Tour in Houston, Texas. Oprah, along with other prominent speakers, hosted a two day event about exactly what the title suggests…learning to live the life you want. For as cliche as it all may seem, having the opportunity to […]