My Favorite Date: A Simply, Magical Lie.

I need to get back into the form of writing. So I’m dusting off my Writer’s Block book that I picked up after a recommendation in a Damon and Jo video, to put this sucker to get use. And what is my first prompt? What is my favorite date? Funny, because I am coming up […]

Why Friends + Family Do Not Support You…

Every now and again I see memes floating around, denoting how no one was with you shooting at the gym or how your friends will invest in all the name brands but not buy your products and  I have had people explicitly ask me to the address thinking I would be on the side of […]

The Abuse Strong Friends Endure

I recently re-read James Baldwin’s If Beale Street Could Talk. I sat on panel at SXSW with Barry Jenkins, Oscar award-winning director of Moonlight. In preparation, I picked up Beale Street because I realized I could not recount much of the book that I had read in a flurry as a middle schooler.  In 6th grade […]

Single & Attractive Women Can Have Casual Sex Without Consenting to Rape

Casual Sex Is Not Consent to Rape

ArtParasite posted an article submitted anonymously entitled THE UGLY SIDE OF BEING A SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE AND AVAILABLE HETEROSEXUAL WOMAN, where a young woman details her encounters with men who have sexually mistreated her. Who have assaulted her right was a consenting partner in casual sex to force her to do things she did not want […]

Working on Your Emotional Maturity, When Everyone Else is Emotionally Immature

Emotional maturity. I’ve spoken about this before on how emotional maturity will help you avoid fuckboys. Packaging advice through discussions on intimate relationships is always the easy entry way. But emotional maturity is more complex and nuanced than just how it relates to your dating life. Emotional maturity is taking the time to develop self […]

How to Grow Emotionally Mature & Avoid F*ckboys

We so often overlook our emotional self, because it is so easy to get caught up in the visual. Not just the visual of how cute you can dress, but the visual of others perceive us. Caught up with concerning ourselves more with the emotions of others, versus dealing with our own emotional state, from […]

When Your Family Is Not Black Excellence

To say this out loud feels offensive to my Mother’s rule of never putting the family’s business “out on front street.” To address it, I worry that my mother will feel guilty or less than and that’s not a feeling she deserves to carry. My parents are greater than that. But this is a worthwhile, though […]

In Dating: HE is not Dumb, He’s Just Lazy

This is a PSA, a friendly reminder, a save your soul and yourself message for my sisters. Men are not dumb, but they are lazy. This is not to say that no dumb, ignorant men exist. I mean, what is Chris Brown or Lil Bow Wow. However, this is to say that my #SmartBrownGirls, as […]

Tinder Tips to Keep the Dating Shenanigans Low

Whether it’s Tinder, Soul Swipe, or the centers of your waste my time shenanigans like BlackPeopleMeet and Plenty of Fish, here’s some advice to keep the ain’t shittedness from entering into your personal space. Be smart and stay safe sis! 1. Black men all take the same 6 types of pics. Seated on the end […]

F*ckboy Astrology: What Sign Won’t You Date?

  My favorite past time on Snapchat + Twitter (sn: @jouelzy) is throwing shade at the Zodiac signs. What fun can’t be found in overgeneralizing based on one element of one’s birth chart? So let me guide you in using the Zodiac to avoid the crazies and find the one who has just enough ego […]

Why are Women So Petty & Competitive?

Being petty is now a thing of honor. Blame it on the rise of social media, more specifically Twitter where you have to pack a punch within 140 characters or less. There is no time to be concerned with tone, tact and other subjective things, you must say what you mean as precisely and concisely […]

On Celebrating Dads on Father’s Day

I don’t know that I’ll ever understand the desire of people to broadcast their disdain for their fathers on Father’s Day. It is suppose to be a day of joy, love and celebration and you can respectfully abstain from the holiday without belittling the importance of fathers and then men you aptly fill that role. […]

Finding, Losing & Maintaining Friends #SmartBrownGirl

In the age of “ride or die” and “no new” friends a lot of young women are all effed up in the game, as we are bombasted with the ideal of everlasting friendships and too much focus on marriage being the golden relationship that cures all things. Girl…nah. Our lives are full of complex relationships that […]

Single Black Female, Relationships & Dealing with Emotions | #SmartBrownGirl

Relationships and my emotional self are part of me that I like to keep private. But I understand that in relating to me, other #SmartBrownGirls want to know how I deal with certain situations. Most of my pre-25 years old relationships were the inspiration for my book, Send It On, a collection of short stories […]

On Giving & Receiving Criticism as a #SmartBrownGirl

Part of being a #SmartBrownGirl is always striving to do better, even in areas that are not easy to confront. Criticism is high up on the chart of difficult to broach subjects and post my Lack of Support and Losing Friends post, I’ve had every intention of covering this topic. But it’s touchy, so I […]