This is a lot to unpack.
I’ve written two posts on this. One on @Medium:
I experienced a mass shooting. The words sound heavy but they feel so empty. I am alive, physically whole though confounded with the feeling thatthis happened all to0 easily.
Read the post, I Experienced the Dallas Shooting | The All American Mass Shooting Experience.
Then one for the Dallas News:
Then in a blink, the air was snatched from the lungs of Dallas. Shots rang out, and the crowd ran in the other direction. I made it home at 4 a.m., after what has now become the all-American experience of getting caught in a mass shooting. Life can be so quickly snuffed out, based on a ridiculous vendetta. Five police offers lost their lives and devastating seems to soft a word to explain the feeling.
I was left with a trembling confirmation that armed civilians in public are of service to no one. It is horrendous that police lost their lives, even though they are the ones who are armed to take down the bad guy.