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Why Friends + Family Do Not Support You…

Every now and again I see memes floating around, denoting how no one was with you shooting at the gym or how your friends will invest in all the name brands but not buy your products and  I have had people explicitly ask me to the address thinking I would be on the side of friends needing to support their friends businesses. Sis,  I am so very sorry but I am not with this rhetoric. Within the bounds of a healthy relationship, friends and family support in various other ways that a customer can never provide. Many of us coming
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#SmartBrownGirlFriendshipsRelationships

The Abuse Strong Friends Endure

I recently re-read James Baldwin's If Beale Street Could Talk. I sat on panel at SXSW with Barry Jenkins, Oscar award-winning director of Moonlight. In preparation, I picked up Beale Street because I realized I could not recount much of the book that I had read in a flurry as a middle schooler.  In 6th grade I decided I need to read all the African American literary greats, so I started with Baldwin, then Morrison and ended on Zora Neale Hurston. My scope was limited. But there was still a lot that flew over my teenage head that was just trying
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Friendships

Finding, Losing & Maintaining Friends #SmartBrownGirl

In the age of "ride or die" and "no new" friends a lot of young women are all effed up in the game, as we are bombasted with the ideal of everlasting friendships and too much focus on marriage being the golden relationship that cures all things. Girl...nah. Our lives are full of complex relationships that provide fulfillment to us as individuals. Friendships are golden, even if you are married. Because you can be married and lonely. Having one person who is the only person you get along with, is hard. We are complicated people, with multiple selfs and sides that
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Friendships

Can I Support Praying the Gay Away?

I thought I would repost this old blog, about my experience with having a friend seek my support in them going from gay to saved, since there has been an advent of memes circulating with people going from gay/transgender to saved/heterosexual. Most people who are secure with their sexuality don’t typically go around pondering the spectrum of sexuality for others. We seek to accept our friends for who they genuinely are and merrily move on from there. However a few nights ago I caught an episode of True Life that reminded me of how uncomfortable it is to really ponder
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Friendships

On: Losing Friends & Lack of Support

Friends, I thought as I matured though would be easier to hold on to. What I've found is the more I become good with me, the more I find my own path to success, the more I move outside the square box and re-draw what I consider to the success of the American Dream, the more my "friendships" fall off. For me it almost always comes down to communication. How one communicates, in a world that is so filled with words that are no more than hot air. Where people are so use to saying what you want to hear
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