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#PopSnark 42: Retrograde Got Us F*cked Up

It’s time for another #PopSnark, where we talk about everything from the low brow to the high brow as long as your eyebrows are on fleek.

Clink clink clink claaaaaank.

This might be the quickest turnaround ever to me putting out consecutive #PopSnarks. But all these planets in retrogrades got people and the universe doing THE absolute most. Where do we even begin.

Mary J. Blige gave a great interview to Angie Martinez where she opened up about her divorce from the ain’t shit Kendu. It’s always been Mary’s candid realness that has made her so endearing. Share my world…don’t you leave. Girl but she spilled all the tea so graciously about Kendu and his messiness in demanding money from Mary to pay for his family and his childrens whom are not Marys. When she realized that Kendu had left the marriage she went digging and found something, though she didn’t specify that something but mmmmm…

Jezebel.com, well really the great writer Clover Hope, someone you should definitely follow, wrote about the Black Girl Magic hashtag and who owns it. Understanding trademarks and intellectual property is complex and for many Black influencers we don’t have the access to lawyers who work in intellectual property and the money it takes to protect our brands from the beginning properly. I lived thru this last year. It’s fascinating because the woman who created the hashtag isn’t the one battling it out in court to own the trademark for the phrase, it’s Essence and Beverly Bonds who are duking it out over ownership of Black Girl Magic. It does seem to be this thing on Black twitter, this false belief that popularity works as protection, the ones that look like you that smile at you have no problem doing business as strictly business, remove all the feels, you’re late and broke sis. You snooze you lose!

French Montana called a young woman nappy on Twitter and then claimed that since he’s from Africa he’s Black, even though he’s Moroccan. From Morocco a country that in 2017 still has a pretty bad slavery infrastructure that treats sub saharan africans as chattel — identifying them as “negro,” essentially Black, which Montana is not. That the girl didn’t even at him in the first place, still sis — yes don’t come for me unless I send for you but that still doesn’t mean my clapback can delve into the -isms or -ists or anti-Blackness. Nope.

LaLa and Carmelo are getting a divorce because…well….didn’t we all know that Carmelo’s been cheating. Their marriage never really seemed that loving or at least how it was portrayed on their reality show. Melo has always come off as a bit distant but supposedly he has another woman pregnant and believes that Lala’s married he’s not…and I’m not clear what that means?

Janet Jackson had her baby in the name of the Jackson family legacy where they all refuse to have Black children. Now she is leaving her billionaire hubby. While yes it’s peculiar, Janet ain’t no gold digger. And every headline that has tried to paint her as that is dead wrong. I understand clicks bring the coins, but you can’t deny what Janet brought to the table of her marriage.

In other what can we blame Black women for because being anti-Black woman has always been in vogue is the San Bernardino shooting where Cedric Anderson walked into his estranged wife’s, Karen Smith’s kindergarten classroom and shot it up killing her and one student. Then we have Steve Stephens who killed an older Black man posting the video on Facebook, because he was mad at his ex-girlfriend Joy Lane. Here we have two extreme examples of the toxic masculinity that is so dangerous amongst Black men. That both of this men to seek revenge on the Black women they once claimed to love.

It’s hilarious how Beyonce and Serena with them strong ass thighs was encouraging us to say we ain’t sorry ain’t thinking about our mans, leave him out in the hallway so he can call Becky like the new age you better call Tyrone and they are both now pregnant. Girl…how is Serena five months pregnant and still has a flatter stomach than me! Like what are abs? Where can I find them? How she won the Australian open two months pregnant and I can’t even drum up the energy to run two miles on a day when I have nothing stopping me.

Nicki Minaj released a video to “No Frauds” and yes I still think the song is a bop even though her verse is weak and the video with all its theatric pauses does nothing to help her verse out. Her face is cute tho and I got a good kee out of Rah being in the video giggling like the petty friend she’s never been to Remy.

First Tami, now Bill O’Reilly has been fired from his anchor chair at Fox News over sexual harassment and lewd conduct lawsuits against the man who looks like a soggy diaper. And in the immortal words of Cam’ron we must ask O’Rielly is you mad doggy?

Rachel Dolezal was finally interviewed by a Black woman and the gracious ether that Ijeoma Oluo gave her. THis is a must read. Go read. We gonna talk about this because no stone was left unturned and Ijeoma gave Rachel just enough rope to hang herself from. Dolezal doesn’t even respect the people she is trying to project herself as. While Dolezal has been canceled there’s much to be learned from the ether that Ijeoma Oluo provided.

That’s it! Let me know what I missed, the worlds been moving so fast y’all! Retrograde got my head all fuzzy but it’s great for a good ki with #PopSnark. Tell me in the comments below, where are you abs? What were you drinking and don’t forget you can support by becoming a Patreon or Shopping smart brown girl.

Tags : beyonceblack feminismf*ckboysjoanne the scammerstay woke
Jouelzy

The author Jouelzy

Jouelzy is a #SmartBrownGirl, Author, Vlogger & Writer, addressing lifestyle issues that impact women of color from beauty, culture to technology. With 162k+ subscribers she's reshaping the image of women of color, who honor their right to revel in their diversity. Find her on Twitter Shop #SmartBrownGirl