Here’s to repurposing an old post from one of my many previous runs at maintaining a blog formerly known as Let Me Talk My *Ish. This is an apt article with all the #clickbait articles about the impending doom of Jay-Z and Beyonce’s relationship based on one unnamed source, because clearly we have nothing better to discuss then speculation about an extremely private couple who even in their attempts to give more of themselves are still extremely private. Beyonce herself is the master of giving you a peak just to satiate your thirst without really giving anything of her truly personal self. And I have the upmost respect for the control she reigns over her image. So this fodder of speculation on a marriage we barely have a preview into, is the biggest waste of time ever. Nothing more than a dupe to collect some extra AdSense coins, while over idealizing a super power couple in their glamour while missing the great points to be taken from the base of their relationship.
When this post was originally written, the Black internet was stemming with discussions about “Black love” and the identity of “Black love”. From the rumored break up of Will and Jada that sent everyone straight to their Facebook feed, to Hurricane Irene’s hype imposing cabin fever and therefore fledgling time for optimal coitus, to Beyonce announcing her pregnancy without uttering a single word, there were references being thrown at every corner. Did anyone watch the MLK special on BET?
Clearly the mainstream definition of Black love as defined by the 16-40-yr old people of color who have Facebook and/or Twitter profiles, exist somewhere between the marriage of Will & Jada Smith and Beyonce & Jay-. Shall either break the whole world is coming to an end. Shall one get pregnant, well then that’s how we all need to do it. Fortunately for us, Beyonce doesn’t publicly exhibit any hood rat ways of chasing down a man a la Joseline, rather she fully explored and dedicated herself to become successful, then met and married her husband to waiting till she is 30 to have a child. If you want that to be the pilar of Black love, I’ll gladly take it, though I’m still going to side-eye you.
There are some definite nuances in idealizing a celebrity as the standard for something so humane as love. The real lesson that everyone needs to take from Bey and Jay is that they keep they mouth shuts about their relationship. It’s between the two of them, not the whole Twitterverse, Facebook population or whole world for that matter. The worst thing you can attribute to the Black social media world is that we collectively like to over share. There’s disaster lurking around the corner of that photo album of you kissing your beaux of the past two weeks.
However, anything more one can venture to see, is over idealizing relationships that money makes look fab. You can appreciate the love and security that Will & Jada or Beyonce & Jay-Z have, but the idealization that this is the standard by which we shall all set ourselves to is a bit ridiculous. Just as much as no study can dictate how my love will be, happen or potentially flourish, celebrities aren’t dictating the standards for me making it down the aisle. If any of them break up, I’ll sigh and keep it moving.Two taps on the Bible.
I’m sure there’s some young girl going through the aisles of the beauty supply store thinking if she get’s a lace front just like Beyonce, she can find her personal Jay-Z, and they can emulate all the scenic pictures they see of the duo without the actual behind the scenes work that you don’t see from them. Someone working on adding a ‘t’ to the end of surfboard without realizing the major sacrifices and compromise a relationship of such magnitude takes. But just like that lace front boo boo (b-t-dub, Bey works full lace wigs, not fronts), it has to be customized to shape your face and so should your love life by customized to you.
The author Jouelzy
Jouelzy is a #SmartBrownGirl, Author, Vlogger & Writer, addressing lifestyle issues that impact women of color from beauty, culture to technology. With 162k+ subscribers she’s reshaping the image of women of color, who honor their right to revel in their diversity.